I can't help but wonder why I am getting upset about the things I am. I was perfectly fine until I read all about the, so eloquently titled, smashed face syndrome. the nurses keep trying to reassure me and my logic and reasoning are telling me not to be upset but I just can't help it. initially, when I was putting the mask on I felt like I was helping her. now I feel like I am disfiguring her when I put it on. it is not like I am someone who is ovely concerned with appearances anyway (one look at me sitting here typing this in my pjs with vegemite on my face and unkempt hair wil confirm that!!). I know I need to let it go but it its easier said than done.
The other thing that has made me upset this morning is that when Diddys sheets were changed yesterday they took her blankie. I know, from the wailing of the little girl in the next bed whose doll went missing with the sheets, that these things do not return. it is stupid really. it is an old pale blue blanket that someone gave to rohan. it is super soft and Isabelle likes to hold it while she sleeps. I bought it in here to give her some comfort and now it has gone. I don't think Isabelle even knows she doesn't have it. She just likes it when she does have it and I thought it would smell like home for her. So it's more of an issue for me than her.
I think what happens is that I get upset about something, and rather admit that I am upset about it, I channel all my upsettness into stupid things.
On a positive note Diddy is adjusting well to having her mask on. Last night she didn't even cry when I put it on her. this morning she cried, but I think she is crying more because she knows it means bed time and not because of the actual mask.
ben is off to work today after having one day off. he won't be able to come in until tomorrow. I miss the other kids so much. I missed out on seeing Kylahs dance concert yesterday. I was tearing up just talking to them on the phone last night. I wish I was at home surrounded by my 4 kidlets and mountain of washing!!
Anyway, there is one thing this pity party is missing and that is some diet coke and chocolate. so on that note I am off to hunt down both!!