Friday, March 28, 2014

What Bianca Wants Bianca Gets

A few months ago a friend quipped to me ‘what Bianca wants Bianca gets’ in a joking sort of manner.  I really hope she meant it in a jesting way, not in a - you’re-an-over-indulged-spoiled-ungrateful-so&so kind of way.  Ever since then I have been doing a lot of soul searching about whether or not the statement is true. 

My first reaction was HELL NO!!!  I have always wanted the body of a supermodel but no-matter how many cabbage soup/ no carb/ low carb/ low fat/ sugar free / fasting diets I go on it doesn’t happen.  I don’t even come close to looking like a supermodel…. or even someone who could be distantly related to a supermodel.  I would not even make a convincing hand model!!

But apart from the supermodel thing… everything else I have REALLY wanted, eventually I have been able to achieve. 

My friend at the time was referring to my birthday present which was MEET & GREET TICKETS WITH BILL BRYSON!!!!  I am sure you are all aware of my relentless pursuit to win the meet and greet tickets on FB.   I had everyone I have ever had any contact with enter the competition for me.  I didn’t win.  You may have read the whole blog post I wrote about my devastation I felt at not winning.  Little did I know that my sister, hubby, mum, grandma and friends all chipped in and bought me the tickets for my birthday!!!!  (they were very expensive tickets!!)  So yes, in that circumstance I did end up getting exactly what I wanted.  The presentation of the tickets to me was the best night of my life.  It was so funny.  I laughed and cried all night long!!  It’s a bit of a long story but I’ll tell it.

My sister, friends and I had all gone out for dinner and trivia night to celebrate my birthday.  During the trivia the host announced that she had some Meet and Greet Bill Bryson tickets to give away.  I squealed with excitement.  The tickets were to be won in a  ‘who am I?’ round.  You could only have 1 guess per table and first to guess the correct answer won.  My heart was pounding, my palms were sweaty, I kept saying to everyone at my table ‘we got this, we got this’.  First clue in the ‘who am I’ challenge was: I was born in NSW in a place referred to as ‘the Shire’.  Second clue:  I have 4 children.  At this point I excitedly tell everyone that being a Shire girl myself, I happen to know that Andrew Ettingshausen has 4 children.  Third clue:  I own a miniature horse and miniature pig.  I ask everyone if they know whether or not good old ET has mini animals.  From this point on I’m not sure what the rest of the clues were.  All I know is that one minute I was puzzling over whether or not ET would be likely to own a mini pig and the next minute I am raising my hand and guessing MYSELF as the answer.  I may have been spurred on by some people at my table but all I remember is the tears flowing from my face as I realised I had WON!!!  Not really won though, because the whole thing was a huge set up and my family and friends had actually bought me the tickets.  #luckiestgirlintheworld

I wanted to meet Bill Bryson soooo badly and I got to!!  The night I met him was magical.  I just can’t believe that one single human being can be so insightful, intelligent, witty, hilarious, generous and kind.  He is totally amazing!!!  I felt an instant bond, not just with him but with the 19 other people who had each paid just shy of $400 to spend an hour with him.  We were all as entranced as each other (with the exception of my sister Kristy, who had come along with me to make sure I didn’t embarrass myself). 

This particular ‘getting what I want’ incident is not an isolated event.  So many things over the course of my life have just happened to fall into place. 

The story I am about to tell you is 100% true.  The year was 2000 and I had just finished my teaching degree and was waiting to see if Education Queensland would offer me a job.  After extensive research, I had decided that I wanted to teach in the Torres Straits.  I wanted to do my country service, but didn’t like how outback Qld had no ‘edge’.  For someone who doesn’t like swimming and hates being hot it is very surprising that I placed so much emphasis on wanting to be near the water in such a tropical location.  But you can’t really choose where you teach – especially not as a uni graduate, so I just had to cross my fingers and hope. 

To pass time, while waiting for my offer, I was working at Franklins Supermarket.  One Wednesday, Franklins rang me and asked if I would pick up and extra shift that afternoon.  I happily agreed and went off to work.  While working on the registers a girl came through my register wearing a t-shirt with the Torres Strait emblem on it.  I began to talk to the girl about the Torres Straits and told her about my desire to teach there.  She was really lovely and told me that she had lived there all her life and it was such a beautiful place.  After I finished scanning her items she went off on her merry way and I thought no more of our brief encounter. 

The next night, while working my usual Thursday night shift, a very important looking man came into the store and asked to speak to me.  He introduced himself as the father of the girl I had met the previous day and told me he worked for Education Qld in the Torres Straits!!!!!  Can you believe it?!?  He happened to be in my home town, thousands of km’s away from the Torres Straits visiting family with his daughter.  He asked me to drop my details and resume off to him and he would make sure I had a position. 

I shudder to think what would have happened if I hadn’t been asked to do that extra shift at Franklins that day, or if the girl had of gone through another register – or not worn a shirt with a TS emblem on it!!  Apparently, Palm Island had flagged my application and I was going to be sent there.  It was only that I had that chance encounter that led to my application being intercepted and sent up to TS instead.  If I hadn’t gone to the Torres Straits I never would have met Ben and had our 4 beautiful children. 

The girl who came through my register is one of my FB friends and I am so grateful to have met her.  We stayed in touch when I moved up to Horn Island and she invited me to a lot of traditional events with her family. 

You may be completely astounded by that story but there are sooo many more. 

I just seem to have this special gift to make people want to do things for me.  Back when I was 21 I managed to convince a bloke in a mobile phone store to give me 10 tickets to see Killing Heidi even though I did not purchase a phone (the shop had a promotion on that you received 2 tickets to see Killing Heidi with every phone purchase).  THEN I managed to convince security at the concert to let me and my friends go back stage and meet the band. 

Ben only ever wanted 2 children. My magical powers of persuasion convinced him that we should have 3…. then 4.  I employed similar persuasive techniques to convince him on a whim to let me spend more on a German Shepherd puppy, than I had on my first car.  I saw the puppy one day and bought her the next.  *These persuasive techniques were not employed for the Killing Heidi tickets or any other event outside our marriage. 

When we bought our new lounge I noticed that it had a lovely $400 poof to go with it.  Ben said that if I bought the $400 poof he would divorce me.  Under no circumstances did we need to spend that amount of money for something to put our feet on.  Needless to say we have the poof.  And we aren’t divorced.  And I love putting my feet on it.

I realise that this blog post is making me sound like some kind of master manipulator.   I’m thinking that maybe I shouldn’t post it!!  But I promise my intentions really aren’t to manipulate people into doing exactly as I want.  I guess that when I want something, whether it be to meet Bill Bryson or a $400 poof, I go gung ho until I get it. 

When I was 19, back before it was trendy and the norm to live waaaay beyond your means, I somehow secured a loan for a brand new Rav4.  I had to work 3 jobs while being full time at uni to pay for it – but I didn’t care!!  In my day it was customary for your car to be roughly the same age as you.  So you can imagine the huge deal it was to get a BRAND spanking new car!! 

Luckily I’ve had the experience of owning a new car because I don’t think it will ever happen again.  Nowadays I’m happy with function and comfort in a car over how new/fast/shiny it is.  My only pre-requisite is that my car have air-con and cup holders (for my diet coke).  My current 4wd, has those ancient manual window turner thingy’s!!!  You have no idea how many bewildered children have sat in my car and enquired about the location of the buttons to make the windows go up and down. 

So the moral of this post is – Yes.  I do get what I want, most of the time.  But I will work my arse off to get it.  (Except for the poof.  I did not work my arse off to get the poof, I just bought it).

At the moment I am working on expanding our *mini* farm.  I’ve made some enquiries about mini cows and I’m also on the lookout for another mini pig and horse to be friends with Moo and Kelvin.  So I’m just putting it out there – if this ‘Bianca gets what Bianca wants’ trend continues you can all expect that Nobel Acres will be home to more mini animals in the near future (even if I have to do a weeks worth of relief teaching to pay for them!!!).

B xx