Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Diddy Update - mummy's pity party

Ok so the blog about funny stories never happened. I can't for the life if me remember what it was that I found funny... and certainly nothing lately has been funny!!
I think Diddy is going gung ho to be the holder of the 'longest stay in hospital after an adenoidectomy' record.  According to the nurses, she is well on her way!!
Last night we had another sleep study in the respiratory unit. I convinced the Dr to let us begin the sleep study without the mask, because I was convinced she was fixed. He begrudgingly agreed to do the first hour of the study without the mask (one of the nurses said he was having a chuckle about the stupidity of that request).  Needless to say Diddy only lasted 15 mins without the mask before they told me they needed to put the cpap on.
When Diddy was first put on cpap back in July 11, her pressure was set to 4, the lowest pressure possible on her machine. She was increased to 4.4 a few months after her initial diagnosis which is where she then stayed.
Last night they started the study on a pressure of 4 and it quickly went up to 5, then 6, then 7.... at pressure 8 they had to phone the dr, who wanted her suctioned before being moved up again.  Suctioning involves them putting a tube up her nose and sucking all the snot out with a vacuum.  Delightful!!!!
So they suctioned her and she still had to be moved up to a pressure of 9, which is where she finally settled.
Because they had adjusted the pressure by such a significant amount they wanted me to stay in for another 24 hours of monitoring.
We headed back to our room feeling very disappointed.
Most of our roommates have been lovely. I have met some really nice people. One roommate was a tad bit overbearing and it was just our luck that she was still in the room when we came back from the respiratory unit.
Her young daughter was in hospital for what looked to me to be a giant pimple on her leg. The mother told me it was an infected boil that needed an operation and the nurses seemed to think it was an insect bite. Kristy and I would call her a MBP mum (munchausen by proxy - you know, the type of mum who insists there is something wrong with a perfectly healthy child and badgers the medical staff until a doctor, in fear of having the mum ring today tonight, will admit them to hospital). She spent her entire time at hospital writhing on her bed in pain while her daughter ran rampant around the hospital. At one stage she started vomiting all over the floor in our room. I was horrified!!! When she wasnt spewing she was telling you all about how sick she was, or how the yoghurt she ate earlier just made her have the trots in the SHARED bathroom. I had patiently put up with this woman, passing her spew bags and paper towels and talking to her daughter but this morning I was at my wits end. (for those of you concerned that she had gastro, fear not... she was sent down to emergency for assessment, as they don't want contagious people in the same ward as children recovering from brain surgery, and she was sent back with a message that what was wrong with her was not something contagious - this was said with a knowing look).
I struggled all morning, trying not to judge as she would switch from sick, to hyper (she constantly dropped the c-bomb and the f-bomb) to running outside for a smoke and leaving her child. She seemed like a nice person and she seemed to really care about her child... but I just felt really drained being around her. This stress further added to my state of mind which fueled the beginnings of my pity party.
They were discharged after lunch and for a brief moment I was so excited. I started to plan a nice afternoon full of magazine reading, tv watching and playing with Diddy.  About that time the party kicked off. I became so down and depressed I spent the rest of the day sitting in my now empty room, bawling. I was bawling because:
* I felt depressed that I had been so judgemental toward that mum.
* I felt depressed because Diddy was leaving in a worse state than when she entered and also felt depressed because I was depressed about Diddy's problems and not grateful that her problems aren't as bad as the other children, minus the little girl with an insect bite, in here.
* I felt depressed that I was still in hospital, and also depressed that I was depressed about being in hospital and not grateful that I had wonderful medical staff taking such good care of my daughter.
* I felt depressed about how much crap I've been eating and how little exercise I have been doing in here...and consequently how much weight I've gained... but also depressed because I really wanted a chocolate but didn't want to head out to the vending machine with big red eyes. The last thing I wanted was one of the other parents, who's children had much more challenging problems than mine, comforting me - even though I knew they would.
* I felt depressed that they want to take out Diddy's tonsils and Diddy would have to go through all this again.
I rang Ben and blubbered on the phone to him for a while before taking a nice long hot shower.
The shower seemed to fix me enough so that I was able to take a nice walk to they vending machine to get a diet coke. A couple of episodes of the Big Bang Theory later I was feeling cheerful enough to spend an hour trying to teach Diddy to kiss her Minnie Mouse teddy. I really treasured that one on one time with her because tomorrow morning I will be back home and my attention will be divided between her and the other kids.
So there you have it... an intimate run down of my pity party! Please don't feel sorry for me because I did more than enough of that myself this afternoon and I really don't deserve anyones pity (unless of course you are pitying me for my lack of style or pitying me because I have soooooooo much housework to do when I get home... that pity would probably be justified!!)
I am really looking forward to getting home tomorrow.
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I promise that my next entry won't be so depressing!! I really need to do some more camping reviews or recipes....
B xx


  1. Love you, B!!! No pity here, thanks for the read - you are, and always will be, you. To a T. Big love and hugs from over the seas. Thinking about you and your lil gal. xo PS that stupid woman in the hossie. I can just imagine. Thank goodness for long hot showers. And it's a good idea to get rid of tonsils. Tonsillitis would be worse. Hope you actually do get home tomorrow.

  2. Oh my Diddy is a little Jazzy in that photo....she's gorgeous.


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